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07 April 2006 @ 10:25 pm
There's Always Consequences (5/?)  
Title: There’s Always Consequences
Rating: PG-13
Genre: AU season 6, Humor, General
Summary: When a spell of Willow and Dawn’s goes wrong, Spike is the one who ends up having to take care of the result.
Disclaimer: Well, they’re definitely not mine, sad to say. They belong to Joss Whedon. But if they were, I’d be having all sorts of fun!
Feedback: Always welcome.
Author’s Note: Okay, this was supposed to be posted over a month ago but RL and various challenges combined to kick my ass and so I had to put off the next chapter of this one. But to make up for it, this chapter is longer than the last one. ^_^ Anyway, there's a reference to the 80's cartoon The Superfriends in this chapter and I did that because it's basically the original Justice League and also, I figure Xander was born in either 1980 or 1981, so he'd have gotten to watch it at age 4 no matter what since the show ran from 1973-1986. Hope you guys enjoy and feedback is always welcome!

Previous parts can be found here.

Spike slammed his head against the table a few times, keeping his eyes tightly closed. Maybe if he thought hard enough the Hellmouth would just open up and swallow him whole and he could avoid ever answering that question.

He glanced up and noticed Xander watching him expectantly. Clearly he wasn’t going to be letting this one go any time soon. Spike turned towards Buffy, a pleading look already on his face. He scowled as he realized that she was going to be no help at all since she was still leaning against the counter laughing.

“Spike?” Xander asked. Spike swallowed and turned back towards Xander. “What’s a sex life?” he repeated. Spike was silent as he thought about what to say. Buffy bit her lip as she finally got her laughter under control. She grinned.

“Yeah, Spike. Why don’t you tell Xander what a sex life is?” She gave him the most innocent look that she could manage as he turned to glare at her. She just nodded at Xander who was watching the exchange with interest. Spike fought back a sigh and turned back to face Xander.

“Well it’s…something grown-ups have,” he said. He heard Buffy snort and scowled at her.

Xander wasn’t satisfied with that answer. He frowned. “Like the chicken pox?”

Spike fought back a laugh and shook his head. “No. It’s something they do for fun when they really like each other.”

Xander thought about this for a moment before brightening. “Like playing games and with toys?” he asked. From the corner of his eye he saw Buffy slap a hand over her mouth to stop the laughter and he had to fight back another laugh at what Xander had said. Instead he nodded.

“Yeah, something like that.”

There was another pause and somehow, Spike just knew there was another question coming.

Xander didn’t disappoint.

“Do you and Buffy have a sex life?”

Buffy began to choke on her water and Spike’s eyes widened briefly. Any other time and this would have been funny but right now Xander was looking up at him, eyes completely serious. He swallowed and shook his head.

“No, Xander. Buffy and I don’t have a sex life,” he said. Xander frowned.

“Don’t you like each other?”

“Yeah, we like each other.” Spike paused as he tried to think of some way to get out of this one. “But not everyone has a…sex life together just because they like each other. You can like someone and still be their friend without one.”

Xander thought about this, letting the information sink in. He looked up as something else occurred to him. “So I don’t have to have a sex life with Jesse and Willow?”

Buffy coughed as Spike shook his head. “No. No, you definitely won’t.”

Xander nodded. “Okay,” he said with a shrug as he turned back to his cookies. Spike sat back and let out a sigh of relief as Buffy gave him a thumbs up.

That was one embarrassing question taken care of. He could do this.

There was only the chance for a million more over the next few weeks.


“Why don’t you watch some cartoons, Xander?” Spike suggested once Xander had finished eating.

Xander looked up at Spike in confusion. “But…cartoons aren’t on right now. It’s not the morning no more.” As if to confirm this, Xander look at Buffy, who merely grinned. He turned back to Spike. “Can I really watch cartoons?”

Spike nodded. “Let me show you something,” he said as he headed into the living room. Xander had a look of confusion on his face that made Spike want to laugh but followed anyway. Spike motioned for Xander to sit and then picked up the remote, flipping through the channels until he came to the one he’d been looking for. Xander’s eyes lit up.

“Look! It’s The Superfriends,” he said, pointing at the TV. He grinned and looked up at Spike. “How’d you do that?”

“Well, it’s an entire channel that shows nothing but cartoons all day. I thought you might like it.” Spike dropped down on the couch, next to Xander. “Now why don’t you tell me what’s going on?”

Xander’s eyes widened. “You never watched it?” he asked. Spike looked down and fought back another grin at the look on Xander’s face.

“No,” he lied. “Can’t say that I have.”

Xander’s jaw dropped and he turned towards Buffy. “Have you?”

Buffy bit her lip to keep from laughing. She wasn’t about to tell Xander that the older version of him had sat her down so they could watch them and other cartoons on DVD after she’d mixed up a Batman reference for the hundredth time. She shook her head. “Nope.”

Again, Xander’s jaw dropped. “But it’s the best show in the world!”

Buffy swallowed a laugh and sat on the other side of him. “Then I really have been missing out. Come on, we’ll watch it together and then you can tell me and Spike what’s going on.”

Xander nodded, his face serious. “Okay.”


Two episodes later and Xander was excitedly talking about what had just happened and what was supposed to happen next since he’d seen the episodes before. Buffy was smiling and nodding and Spike couldn’t help but stare at Xander as he babbled. It was so similar to the way he babbled as an adult that Spike had to grin. Xander hadn’t changed all that much it seemed.

His thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door.

“Why is everyone suddenly showing up here?” Spike growled as he stood and headed to the door. Buffy shook her head.

“Isn’t it obvious? We’re coming here to visit with Xander,” she said as Spike opened the door to reveal Dawn standing there, four bags and looking like she was going to drop them at any moment.

“I got your clothes.” Dawn held out the bags, waiting for Spike to take them before walking in.

Buffy narrowed her eyes. “You went to get Spike’s stuff by yourself?”

Dawn rolled her eyes. “Like you weren’t going to make me go anyway. This way, it was my idea and I got to come and see how Xander was doing.”

“And if something had tried to eat you?”

Dawn shook her head. “It’s daytime, Buffy.”

“Not all demons get hurt by sunlight, Nibblet. You know that,” Spike broke in. Dawn turned to include him in her glare.

“So what? Now I should have an escort every single time I go somewhere? Is that it? Because if we’re going to do that, why stop there? After all, demons could attack the house at any moment so maybe one of you should be around to hold my hand while I go to the bathroom too.”

“Dawn,” Buffy warned.

Dawn shook her head. “No, really, if that’s the way you feel. Anything could happen at any time of the day. So I clearly shouldn’t have a life, right? I shouldn’t be allowed to grow up and move out and go to college some day since something icky might get me. Yeah, this is the best plan ever.”

Buffy and Spike blinked while Xander stared at Dawn in awe. She’d yelled. At Spike. And Buffy. He bit his lip as he looked at the three, waiting to see what would happen. His lower lip trembled at the thought of Dawn getting in trouble. Getting in trouble was bad and she was nice. She’d played with him and made him laugh.

He must have made some sound because they all glanced at him, taking in the wide eyes and trembling lip as he stared at them.

“Xander?” Spike said softly. He set the bags down and moved to crouch in front of the boy. “What is it, pet?” Spike frowned when Xander didn’t say anything, just continued to chew on his lip. “Come on, I can’t fix it if you don’t tell me what’s bothering you.” Briefly, Spike wondered if there’d ever be a chance in hell that he could get his reputation as the Big Bad back. Xander shifted and Spike smiled.

“Is Dawn in trouble?” Xander asked. Spike’s smile widened at that, officially confirming that the Big Bad rep was long gone, at least to the girls.

“That what’s got you all worried?”

Xander nodded. “Is she?”

“She would be if she hadn’t brought up some damn good points,” Buffy muttered.

“Are you going to spank her?”

Dawn snorted. “I’d like to see her try.”

“If I wanted to spank you, I could,” Buffy said, narrowing her eyes. “But I really don’t want to go there. Ever.”

Spike looked at them as if they’d each grown another head and shook his head, the faintest hint of amusement on his face. He turned back to Xander. “No one’s getting spanked, Xander. Don’t worry.”

“Bet that’s the first time Spike’s ever said that,” Buffy said, exchanging a grin with Dawn. Spike glared at them, causing them both to laugh.

Seeing their reactions, Xander smiled. “Damn good point,” he said, repeating what he’d heard Buffy say. The girls stopped laughing as Spike glanced back at Xander.

“Xander, you remember when I told you there were some words you can’t say until you’re bigger?” Spike waited until Xander had nodded. “Well, damn is one of those words. Buffy’s old, which means she can say it,” Spike told him, smirking in Buffy’s direction when she gaped at his words.

“I’m not old!”

Spike ignored her, focusing on Xander. “You got that, love?”


Dawn’s eyes widened. “Oh, I almost forgot,” she burst out, turning and digging through one of the bags until she’d produced a stuffed black and white dog. She knelt down and held it out to Xander. “This is for you.”

Xander stared at the dog for a moment and then looked up at Dawn, a smile beginning to form on his face. “Me?”

She smiled. “Yeah, for you. His name’s Patches. He used to be mine when I was little and I used to take it everywhere with me because he always made me feel better. And now I’m giving him to you.”

He paused. “Why?”

Dawn blinked. “Why am I giving him to you?” she asked. Xander nodded. She rubbed a hand over his hair, much the same way that Buffy had. “Because it’s time for Patches to have a new home and help someone else feel better and I think you’re the best person to take care of him.”

Xander grinned, taking the dog slowly and staring at it a moment before throwing his arms around Dawn. “Thank you!”

She laughed. “You’re welcome, Xander.”

Spike watched the two with a grin and turned to see Buffy watching them with a small smile. He shook his head as he touched her arm. “Buffy.”

She turned. “Yeah?”

Spike smirked. “If you’re going to swear around Xander, you’re not allowed to play,” he told her, managing to keep a straight face.

Buffy’s jaw dropped. “What? Oh whatever, you big girl. Like you haven’t been swearing around him and just telling him he can’t say the words.”

He shrugged, not bothering to respond. After all, it was true.
Feeling: workingworking
Soundtrack: Young - Kenny Chesney
reddwarf75reddwarf75 on April 7th, 2006 10:46 pm (UTC)
Oooooo, new part *bounce bounce* Lovely :) I think Spike is doing great so far *g*
Nicole: Xander through the years.blue_icy_rose on April 7th, 2006 11:28 pm (UTC)
Hee, thanks! Spike is settling into the role of taking care of Xander nicely, isn't he? A few bumps but then, who wouldn't have those.

Of course, I'm still thinking of throwing Angel in there later because I have this image of Angel getting stuck watching little Xander and the chaos that could follow and it makes me giggle. ^_^
sparrow2000sparrow2000 on April 8th, 2006 12:43 am (UTC)
I don't know how the hell I missed this story, but have just chomped through the first 5 parts in a oner and very tasty they were too. Spike is just hysterical with little Xander and his big bad rep is never going to be the same again.

Great fun, I'll definitely be looking out for more.
Nicole: Giddy!Spike!blue_icy_rose on April 9th, 2006 03:09 pm (UTC)
Thank you! Yeah, Spike's rep is just long gone now. He's just a big softie when it comes to little Xander. ^_^
Ladeialadeia3 on April 8th, 2006 05:47 am (UTC)
lol... I love it. Poor Spike... I bet Xander was one of those kids that just got into trouble all the time.... *giggle*

Hurry back with more.
Nicole: Spander! Yay!blue_icy_rose on April 9th, 2006 03:12 pm (UTC)
He's certainly a curious kid, that's for sure. Wants to know what this or that is and why he isn't allowed to do this...and now Spike gets the joy of explaining it all to him.

Thanks for reading and hopefully I can get the next part out soon!
sablerose2sablerose2 on April 8th, 2006 06:47 am (UTC)
More,more please love the way you have the gang acting as friends. The love and caring way they are taking care of Little Xander is just AWWWWW!!!!!!!
Nicole: I miss the high school Scoobies...blue_icy_rose on April 9th, 2006 03:13 pm (UTC)
*g* Thank you! I love stories where they're friends so I just had to do it here. So glad you like it!
lusciousxander: Xanderlusciousxander on April 8th, 2006 07:00 am (UTC)
Awww! That's just too cute for words! Xander is so adorable!
Nicole: Xander through the years.blue_icy_rose on April 9th, 2006 03:14 pm (UTC)
Isn't he? I picture little Xander and I just want to hug him. ^_^ Thanks for reading!
Morphine: Moist Xandermorphine300mg on April 8th, 2006 01:07 pm (UTC)
Okay, I just had to say that your icon made me giggle uncontrollably for the longest time. I just thought I'd tell you that.

::goes off to actually read the story now::
Nicole: Hee! Thumper!blue_icy_rose on April 9th, 2006 03:15 pm (UTC)
Hee, I saw that icon in suki_blue's user pics and had to grab it. She's got some great ones.

Hope you liked the story!
woman_of_: Blood claimwoman_of_ on April 8th, 2006 02:30 pm (UTC)
Lovely, Spike is a great dad, and Buffy is doing her best as mom. Really enjoyed it
Nicole: Buffy through the years.blue_icy_rose on April 9th, 2006 03:17 pm (UTC)
Thank you! Yeah, I figure that while Spike is going to be the main one taking care of Xander, he still needs some type of mom-like figure and since Willow's the one that changed him in the first place, Buffy is the best bet. Not to mention I think she'd probably automatically want to help out anyway. Glad you're enjoying it!
slidewithme on April 8th, 2006 08:27 pm (UTC)
sorry to bother! but which episode is your "Logan twirls Veronica." icon from? i don't remember it O_o
Nicole: Logan twirls Veronica.blue_icy_rose on April 9th, 2006 03:19 pm (UTC)
Don't worry, you're not bothering at all. ^_^ It's from the season one episode, "A Trip to the Dentist". The scene is where they are heading towards the pool house after the surprise party that Aaron throws for Logan.
fearless5555fearless5555 on April 9th, 2006 04:28 am (UTC)
I just read this whole thing and it's so sweet. You obviously have 4 yr olds down pat and you've got the cute factor written perfectly. Can't wait to see more.
Nicole: Blushing Flower!blue_icy_rose on April 9th, 2006 03:21 pm (UTC)
*g* Thank you very much! It's great to hear what you think of four year old Xander since I'm mostly going by what I remember my cousins being like and kids I've baby-sat. (Well, and you know, throwing in that bit of Xander, lol.) I'm glad you're liking this!
eithnexeithnex on April 10th, 2006 03:07 pm (UTC)
So glad to see more of this. I love the interactions between the adults and little Xander, Spike is perfect for him although I think he could give Spike a heart attack with his questions. Your 4 year old is excellent as well, they always seem to hone in on the one sentence or word out of a million that you do not want them to hear. Thanks so much for the update and hope to see more when you can.
pretty_vampirepretty_vampire on April 10th, 2006 07:13 pm (UTC)
I just have a chance to read this story... and yes, that was really great!!! Love it. :)

Little Xander is so adorable!
Scribbles and bits...: right inquoshara on April 14th, 2006 10:53 pm (UTC)
This is all very delightful! Ah, the joys of parenting.... *snerks*

I remember explaining to my kids such odd things as "Why does it rain?" and "Why is that person a stranger?"