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31 March 2006 @ 08:18 am
I seriuosly need to calm down.  
No really. I've been awake since before six. I went to bed fairly late (well, early in the morning actually) and it took forever to fall asleep. So, I'm running on a couple hours sleep here. Why?

Because I realized that I have a huge phobia of getting up in front of a group of people. Oh I know some people will say it's just a little fear or me being nervous but I doubt that would have me wanting to throw up since yesterday. I mean the last time I had to get up in front of a group of people for this long was in freshman year of high school. Sure, I've had to get up in front of people since then but only for a couple minutes and only for a quick presentation or, when I was in the sorority, to give my report and take attendance. That was it.

But this? This is me getting in front of the class and sitting there for 10-20 minutes as they criticize something I wrote and tell me what's wrong with it. And I know my professor says not to take it personal because it's just our writing and not us but my writing is me. And yeah, it was just an essay on a poem but the point is that it's still something I wrote. It's still my words, my thoughts and I'm supposed to act like it's not...me? I don't think so.

Yeah. So I hadn't remembered how bad this phobia was until now. And now I'm dreading that in a couple of weeks I have to get up in front of a different class and give a 10 minute presentation.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go continue freaking out and probably acting like a moron as I do.
Feeling: uncomfortablefreaked out
Nebula: anya hugauthoressnebula on March 31st, 2006 07:39 am (UTC)
You're NOT a moron. Stop picking on yourself, or I'll come and get you. *gives you look* People freak out over what they think are stuipd little things. As for myself? I have the stupidest phobia of all, I swear to you. Yours makes sense!

I'm afraid of balloons. Like get upset and my stomach twists and everything. I totally lose it with a stupid balloon that probably brightens someone else's day.

Don't you feel better now? ~_^

Just let them talk. More than likely, they're freaked out over their own things. People can get extremely self centered when it comes to these things, so don't worry about it! Besides, if they say bad things about your report, they know that there's a chance you can do the exact same thing to them. It's a system. ^_^

*hugs you*

Nicole: Seasons of Loveblue_icy_rose on April 2nd, 2006 01:13 am (UTC)
Thanks for this! You definitely brightened my morning since I got this right as I had to sign off and head for class. It also helped to calm me down a bit to hear someone else say that I wasn't being stupid. ^_^

Of course, this reaction is going to happen all over again tomorrow night and so I'll probably come back and reread the comment because the other two people went and their papers took up the whole class so the professor decided that I'd go on Monday by myself. *takes deep breath* So far, I'm just trying not to think about it since I'm sure I'll start freaking out again if I do.

Anyway, thanks for calming me down! You were definitely a big help.

*hugs you back*
I don't see another goddamn narrator, so pipe down: do aliens live among us?lunacat on March 31st, 2006 11:27 am (UTC)

That does sound tough, just remember that it will be over before you know it and that everyone in the class is probably thinking and feeling the same things that you are!

Good luck, hun!

I'm here if you need to talk/rant/vent afterwards. :)
Nicole: Pounce!blue_icy_rose on April 2nd, 2006 01:15 am (UTC)
*hugs back*

Thanks! And I may need to talk afterwards on Monday, since that's when I'm going instead. (Gah! Now I won't even be able to go with other people! Darn it!) Yeah, the other two papers took up the entire class period except for the last five minutes (which would have been just fine to me, but noooo....the professor wants to actually talk about it. Pfft...)