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27 December 2010 @ 09:03 pm
Mark Reads Twilight  
I never would've found this if it weren't for slayerkate's twitter (one day, I need to figure out tumblr - everyone is on it, I'm pretty sure). And it's absolutely fantastic so far and I'm only on the first post about the prologue and chapter one. So, I thought I'd share:

Mark Reads Twilight

Enjoy! I know I will!

Really, he has an amazing grasp of the series from the start though with one paragraph:

And then there's Edward Cullen. In perhaps the most telling form of foreshadowing I've ever seen, Edward, who might be described as the most beautiful creature Bella has ever seen, is a complete and total douchebag to Bella, going so far as to refuse to look her in the eye and request to move classes so he never has to see her again. Now, I know this is going to be explained soon, but this seems to be a summary of the relationship between Edward and Bella in the first chapter of the novel: no matter how horrible Edward is, Bella is going to be unreasonable and fall madly in love with him.

I'm totally reading the rest of this. LOL forever!
Feeling: gigglygiggly
Soundtrack: Nora Roberts' Carolina Moon
Paula: saying- team stfupegm81484 on December 28th, 2010 04:42 pm (UTC)
Can I just say at first I was all confused and though this was Mark Salling from Glee because lately my flist is all Mark all the time... then I realized it wasn't, but was still really enamoured with this man's accoutn of the book. I wholeheartedly agree with everything he says.

Why do people love this shit? It's awful and not even like cracktastically, fantastically awful... just plain awful.
Nicole: Mark Salling - sharp dressed man!blue_icy_rose on December 28th, 2010 07:41 pm (UTC)
I'd pretty much die laughing if it was Mark Salling because that would have been awesome. But, yes, this account of the books is so true for me - I mean, okay, I have a lot of irrational dislike for these books probably but every time I read a new chapter review, I laugh and go "YES! THIS EXACTLY!"

I'm halfway through New Moon reviews. He's realizing that she's ruining the character of Jacob. *sigh* Poor Mark.
Paula: glee- noahpegm81484 on December 28th, 2010 08:16 pm (UTC)
I know, I wish I had some conformation that his this savvy with literature, but alas I guess being hot and talented will have to do for now.

I dont' know if I'm going to read past twilight because to be honest while I love his opinions all this is doing is bringing back to the surface all the hatred I have for this series and Stephanie Meyers... which I had been able to somewhat let go of recently.

She does kill him over and over again throughout the books doesn't she? I might have to read his reviews of New Dawn just to see what his feelings on the whole "eating the baby out of her" and "imprinting with the child of his former supposed imprint" lol. Which both of those two things still crack me up... like who the fuck would write that shit and act all serious about it????
Nicole: Puck/Rachel/Quinnblue_icy_rose on December 28th, 2010 09:06 pm (UTC)
LOL, I think that'll do just fine.

Right? I am remembering why I disliked these books so much. (Though really, watching the movies did that too. UGH, don't get me started.)

She really does. His character is like...murdered partway through New Moon and it just keeps going. I kind of can't wait to see his reactions to that one. His reactions by the end of New Moon are really just hilarious all caps wanting to know what this nonsense is. He reviewed Midnight Sun too. I can't wait to see his reaction to Edward's POV.
Paula: saying- rowling vs meyerpegm81484 on December 29th, 2010 01:12 am (UTC)
Please, don't get me started on the movies either. Oh and I just have to say I really like Linkin Park, but whatever I'm okay with disagreeing with him on this point. And I have to say that I don't think Stephenie Meyers really understands their lyrics at all or what they're talking about in 90% of their songs since it goes against everything she supposedly stands for lol. I'm thinking she's just another dumb chick who was told they were good and listens because it seems "cool".

I never read Midnight Sun... and I don't care to. I'm actually reading the Harry Potter Series right now. I've seen all the movies, but never read the books for reasons I can't explain becuase they're convuluted.... BUT they just make me realize how amazing and interesting and thoughtprovoking children/young adult novels can be even when they have a supernatural/magical element. Apparently Mrs. Meyers was not aware of this.
Nicole: Twilight - HP fans use flamethrowersblue_icy_rose on December 29th, 2010 05:08 am (UTC)
Your icon! LMAO, love it. And agreed - I like Linkin Park. The song on the soundtrack is a good one. :) And I have no clue on her reasoning for using them since they really do go against what she believes in/stands for.

Haha, I've never read it (though I couldn't stop laughing when the chapters got leaked before they were supposed to and people freaked...whatever, like she's ever going to finish writing it, people, be happy on that) but I really want to see his reactions since he has such an intense hatred for Edward.

HP! *beams* I LOVE that series so much. Even when Harry gets all teen angst angry and yells in all caps a lot, lol. I remember they had a poll on HP vs. Twilight and which is better - HP kicked Twilight's ass, thankfully. (I know, I know, internet polls are so very important, lol. Still.)
Paula: saying- rowling vs meyerpegm81484 on December 29th, 2010 09:40 pm (UTC)
The only thing I liked about the Twilight movie was the sountrack. (And Taylor Lautner but I really didn't even like him in this movie since he had the long hair.)

I'm actually just reading HP now, but 150 pags into the first books it's already worlds better than the whole Twilight series.

Internet polls are important... they show how obsessed we are with everything, including the internet.
Kate: Buffy stakes Edwardslayerkate on December 28th, 2010 05:50 pm (UTC)
Yes, please get a tumblr!

I ended up discussing Twilight with two of my brothers-in-law on Saturday. One of them has never read any of the novels, but he's seen the first film and hated it. The other thinks the books are good.

I try not to judge because he also thinks I'd be a good role model for his daughter... no, really, what the hell is he thinking?! Me?

I explained that I've read all four novels because I kept waiting for the books to get better and it never happened, but that I also feel nobody should judge a book they haven't read yet. I didn't get the chance to tell them that I would have loved the novels if they had been marketed as horror instead of romance. It's kind of hard to even get a 'hello' in there when these guys are talking.
Nicole: Buffy kills Edward - The End!blue_icy_rose on December 28th, 2010 07:50 pm (UTC)
LOL! I'll have to check it out.

I'm trying to think if I know anyone that liked the books and I can't think of any. Well, except for my younger cousins. God, I hope their older brothers help them realize that NO, Edward is not awesome. Two girls, three boys and two of the boys are identical twins (who are now 16, holy cow) - the girls wanted to see New Moon when it came out and I had already seen it. At that point, I looked at one of the twins and muttered "I will never get those two hours or whatever of my life back." He wanted to know what it was about so I summarized what happens and he just stared at me in silence for a moment and then went "Because that's the definition of a healthy relationship. Jesus." (Wow, sort of pointless ramble.)

I have hopes yet that they'll realize it but since the girls were all "OMG, want Twilight books for Christmas!" I don't think it's working so far. I can still continue to hope.

Yeah, that's why I kept reading the books. Didn't work on the getting better.
Kateslayerkate on December 28th, 2010 07:58 pm (UTC)
They can have mine! Are they still looking for the novels? Because I don't want these things anymore. I was actually considering donating them to my dad's fireplace.

That's another thing. My dad's girlfriend loves Twilight. My dad hates it so much. (It's kind of funny, but growing up, my mom was the misogynist and my dad was more of a feminist.) He thinks it's incredibly stupid that vampires sparkle in Stephenie Meyer's mythology. He used to watch BtVS with me. He still watches Supernatural, after I made him marathon season one during Thanksgiving of 2006. He was complaining recently that he hates the show now, and he misses the way it used to be.

So when I mentioned how much I hate Edward, my dad laughed at me and said it was just because I wanted Buffy to stake him. My response? "Well... yeah, duh."
Nicole: Buffy/Spike - crossblue_icy_rose on December 28th, 2010 09:16 pm (UTC)
I have no idea actually. I can check though. And LOL, you sound like me. I let someone borrow Breaking Dawn and she came to me, all freaked out, and said "My dog chewed it up! I can buy you a new one!" My reaction? "Really, don't. Your dog clearly has taste."

I don't think anyone in my family besides my cousins (well, and me) have read these books. As a matter of fact, when they asked for them, my mom was like "What books? Twilight? What is that?" I just told her she didn't want to know.

Haha! Yes! We all want Buffy to stake him. Please. That fic I read where Spike just walks up to him and stakes him in front of Bella and he turns into a pile of sparkles is fantastic. Especially since it's just that one scene, lmao.
Kateslayerkate on December 28th, 2010 09:19 pm (UTC)
What fic is this?
Nicole: Spike and Drublue_icy_rose on December 28th, 2010 09:31 pm (UTC)
Slightly different from what I remember - doesn't happen in front of Bella but he still gets staked so that works - but the fic is Staking out the Trash.
Kateslayerkate on December 29th, 2010 12:05 am (UTC)
Thank you.