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01 March 2008 @ 04:40 pm
Fic: The Epic Love Story of Buffybot and RoboDean (R) 1/?  
Title: The Epic Love Story of Buffybot and RoboDean
Rating: R
Word Count: 992
Summary: This wasn't something any of the Scoobies were expecting. But now that it's happened, it's time to hear the story of how Buffybot met RoboDean.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Supernatural. They belong to Joss Whedon and Eric Kripke.
Notes: Written based off of an idea I had combined with Aimee's challenge at Route 66 :: Destination Sunnydale. Also written for tamingthemuse. Prompt: suspension of disbelief.


Dean stared in horror at the sight before him. He shook his head. “You’ve got to be kidding me,” he said. He turned to look at Buffy. “Tell me you’re fucking kidding me.”

She shook her head. “Believe me, I really wish I was.”

“That’s...”

“Crazy?” Buffy said.

“Hell yes. It’s a robot!”

Xander snorted. “Well, actually, it’s robots.”

Dean turned and glared at him briefly. “I may kill you.”

Buffy didn’t say anything, just continued to stare at the two in front of her until the Buffybot turned towards her.

“Hi!” She waved and Buffy wondered what she’d done to deserve this. No one, not even a robot, should be this perky all the time.

“Hi.” Really, there wasn’t anything left to say, was there?

“Are you a couple?” Buffybot asked, looking between Buffy and Dean. “Because we’re a couple.” She smiled brightly. “Dean and I go out all the time.”

“Whoa, now, wait a minute. That thing is not Dean,” Dean interrupted. RoboDean, as Xander had taken to calling the robot version of Dean, smirked.

“Actually, I am.”

Dean narrowed his eyes, hand moving to the small of his back where he kept his gun. RoboDean just continued to smirk, mirroring the action and twirling the gun before letting it settle loosely in his grip.

“Hey, I’ve got an idea,” Willow said, stepping forward. “How about we try to figure out what’s going on and why Buffybot isn’t in the basement like we all thought and why there’s a...a RoboDean and how they met.”

Dawn snickered from her spot on the couch. “Kind of ironic, that the robot versions of them fell for each other too.” Next to her, Sam snorted, managing at the last second to turn his laugh into a cough when Dean turned to scowl at him.

Buffybot frowned. “I don’t remember being in a basement.”

“Um, you were kind of broken,” Willow told her. “And we hadn’t fixed you.”

“Kind of broken?” Xander muttered, remembering what the Buffybot had looked like when Spike had dumped the parts in front of them, saying something about their decoy being broken.

“Were you ever going to fix me?”

“That’s what I’d like to know,” RoboDean added, eyes narrowed. On the couch, Sam shook his head at the image of a robot version of his brother getting protective of a robot version of Buffy. And really, he just hopes that there’s not a RoboSam running around out there somewhere.

“Don’t get your panties in a twist, RD,” Faith said, smirking as she crossed her arms. “She was pretty banged up.”

Buffy shook her head, wondering at the fact that Faith hadn’t said anything before now. “Understatement.” Off of the looks she got, she raised an eyebrow. “She was literally in pieces.”

RoboDean looked like he’d been punched in the gut. “Pieces?”

Buffybot blinked and then smiled again. “Then I guess it’s a good thing Andrew put me back together!”

At that, everyone froze. “What did you just say?” Buffy asked, voice low. Dean clenched his jaw, tensing.

“That son of a...”

Buffybot frowned. “I don’t understand. You’re mad that he made me better?” She looked over at RoboDean. “Or are you mad that he made Dean for me?”

Dawn’s jaw dropped. “He made Dean...for you?”

“I was lonely.”

Faith snickered. “I’ll bet,” she muttered. She rolled her eyes when Buffy elbowed her. “Like I was the only one thinking it.”

“Let me get this straight. You were broken, he fixed you and because you were lonely, he decided to build a me from the ground up?” Dean looked from Buffybot to RoboDean before turning to the others. “What kind of fucked up logic is that?”

“Andrew logic,” Xander supplied. “He probably thought it’d be sweet or something.”

“I thought Andrew was crap when it came to stuff like this,” Dawn said. “It was Warren that built Buffybot in the first place.”

Willow nodded in agreement. “And the work is as top quality as Warren’s was.” She shrugged when everyone turned to her. “It is.”

“Oh please. There is no way that thing is as good-looking as me,” Dean protested. RoboDean raised an eyebrow.

“He’s right.” Before anyone could say anything, he grinned. “I’m better looking.”

“That’s it. You’re headed straight for the scrap heap.”

“Like you could actually do it.”

Dean took a step forward, ready to prove that he definitely could, only stopping at Buffybot’s next words.

“Oh, I think the demon that helped him made sure we were put together right.”

For a few moments, everyone was silent until Faith summed up what they were all thinking.

“What an idiot.”

“Magic and technology is how you were put together?” Willow asked. Her expression made Dean think of a scientist who had just discovered a new pet project and he shook his head.

“You are not trying to figure out how he made them, are you?”

“At the very least, I’m going to try to figure out what magic was used. For all we know, whatever he used is going to cause some serious consequences.”

It was at that moment that Andrew himself walked in. He faltered when he noticed everyone staring at him, though with Buffy and Dean it was more of a glare. “What?”

“Hi, Andrew,” Buffybot called. Andrew’s eyes widened and he turned, finally noticing Buffybot and RoboDean.

“They’re not too happy with you, dude,” was all RoboDean said. Andrew glanced at the others one more time before making a break for the door.

“Oh, no, you’re not going anywhere,” Buffy said, grabbing him by the arm and yanking him back so she could shove him into a chair. She crossed her arms. “You’re going to tell us exactly what you did, how you did it, and why.”

Dean nodded in agreement. “And believe me when I say you’re not going anywhere until you do.”

Andrew looked up at them and swallowed, biting his lip. “Crap.”
 
 
Feeling: workingworking
 
 
 
Laniebonypsyche on March 2nd, 2008 12:17 am (UTC)
oh you just know Saminator and Bionic Faith are out there screwing like bunnies *giggles*

Oh this was wonderfully craskish Nicole *
high fives*
Nebula: spn hell house 'laughter'authoressnebula on March 2nd, 2008 03:42 am (UTC)
Oh god. I think I just choked.

Saminator?

Dude. You win cookies and love and everything. Seriously. It sounds like a porn flick or actor's name or his manhood.

~Nebula
Nicole: Amused Jensenblue_icy_rose on March 2nd, 2008 03:55 am (UTC)
You know I was in the process of doing my CJ homework (which, OMG, it turns out is more like math homework - there is a reason English is my first major, people! Blegh.) when I decided to take a break. And then I saw these comments and just fell over laughing.

You guys win. \o/
Nicole: Sam/Faithblue_icy_rose on March 2nd, 2008 03:54 am (UTC)
Ahahahahaha! I just have this image of Sam's face if he ever did see a robot version of himself. *gigglesnorts* HEE!

*high fives you back* And there's more crack to come!
Nebula: buffy giggle snortauthoressnebula on March 2nd, 2008 03:37 am (UTC)
DUDE. This is chapter 1. There will be MULTIPLE CHAPTERS.

*flails like a flailing thing*

I love you. Seriously. You win the universe.

“I was lonely.”

Faith snickered. “I’ll bet,” she muttered.


Classic Faith line right there.

Dawn snickered from her spot on the couch. “Kind of ironic, that the robot versions of them fell for each other too.” Next to her, Sam snorted, managing at the last second to turn his laugh into a cough when Dean turned to scowl at him.

Sam's afraid of Dawn...*sing-songs*

That was just classic though, too. Laughed my ass off at the image. ^_^

“She was literally in pieces.”

RoboDean looked like he’d been punched in the gut. “Pieces?”


Awwwww....I LOVE that RoboDean is all protective of Buffy. (Wonder if he'll start being protective of both Buffys because the real Buffy reminds him of his Buffybot, and then the real Dean gets annoyed that he's not the one protecting Buffy, and...*flails some more*)

This is the most cracktastic story EVER. Please to be writing more.

The possibilites are ENDLESS!

*rolls in the love of it*

~Nebula
Nicole: LMAOblue_icy_rose on March 2nd, 2008 04:00 am (UTC)
Oh, yes, definitely multiple chapters! The challenge says that this story has to be at least 5K, so that gives you some idea of how long this has to be. *grins*

And now to keep up tradition....SQUEEE!!!!! QUOTAGE!! *beams*

I just love imagining Faith sitting there and laughing at the entire situation while Buffy and Dean are trying (and failing) not to freak out. Hee!

That was one of my favorite parts! Sam's such a little brother, finding this whole thing funny but trying to hide it. Ah, Sammy.

*big grin* Well, actually, something very similar is also a part of the challenge. (Which, I'm going to be posting so that people can look to see what the challenge was exactly - I'd link to it but because of all the spamming, a person now has to be registered and logged in to see the site. Stupid spammers.)

I'm having SO much fun and it's only the first chapter! :D More will be coming!
Kateslayerkate on March 2nd, 2008 04:34 am (UTC)
I'm looking forward to the rest of this.
Nicole: Buffy and Faithblue_icy_rose on March 2nd, 2008 05:01 am (UTC)
Hee, thanks! ^_^
Dani: Sam gigglefitumbralillium on March 2nd, 2008 04:57 am (UTC)
*giggles madly* Brilliant!

*buries head in hands* Now I'm having visions of Dawn/Sam. *wails* SAVE ME FROM THE INSANITY!
Nicole: Sam/Dawnblue_icy_rose on March 2nd, 2008 05:03 am (UTC)
Why, thank you! :D

And ahahaha! I can't save you! I have an entire 'verse for Sam/Dawn in which Sam falls for Dawn at Stanford instead of Jess. (I figured, why not? She's only a few years younger than him when you add up the timelines...and then I played with the ages a bit. *cough*) So, see? I can't save you! I'm a part of the insanity! *points to icon* See?
Dani: Dr Ten goofballumbralillium on March 2nd, 2008 05:09 am (UTC)
You're welcome!

*screams in terror and runs away*
Nicole: Steve Holt!!blue_icy_rose on March 2nd, 2008 05:13 am (UTC)
*huffs and looks around* She keeps doing this. *sigh*

Get back here! I have to give you Sam/Dawn cooties! *runs after you*
Dani: Colby heheumbralillium on March 2nd, 2008 06:17 am (UTC)
Noooo! Not Sam/Dawn cooties! *hides in the Numb3rs fandom*
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Ayoub™ayoub on March 2nd, 2008 11:45 pm (UTC)
That was hilarious :D
Nicole: Crossover OTPblue_icy_rose on March 2nd, 2008 11:57 pm (UTC)
Thanks! Glad you liked! :D