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31 May 2007 @ 01:09 am
Fic: Too Much Interference (NC-17) 3/?  
Title: Too Much Interference
Pairing: Buffy/Dean
Rating: NC-17
Spoilers: Buffy - through season 5, early season 6 later. Supernatural - at least through "No Exit" (2x06).
Summary: The Scoobies, Sam, and everyone else may feel like they know too much about Buffy and Dean, but they're not the only ones. Because, really, Buffy and Dean just want to know when they're all going to stop interfering in their lives. And more importantly, when they're going to stop interrupting them.
Disclaimer: Oh yeah. They're mine. Kripke and Whedon? They had to get my permission to create their shows. *pauses* Pfffft. Yeah, I wish. But I had you going there for a minute, didn't I?
Note: As you can probably guess, this is the companion piece to Aimee's Too Much Information. It will be done entirely from Buffy and Dean's POVs, hence the rating.

Previous Parts


I wonder if it’d be wrong to punch Faith. Just once. Or twice. And I wouldn’t punch her very hard—just enough to bruise.

Yeah, we’ll see how well things go for her then.

Okay, so maybe that’s a bit much.

I’ll only punch her once.

But, honestly, if I have to keep watching her and Dean for much longer, I may actually follow through on that. She was all over him at the Bronze, flirting and rubbing against him. And that moron was flirting right back.

Men. Always thinking with the head between their legs instead of the one on their shoulders.


They’re probably just in it for the sex anyway.

Not that I wouldn’t have sex with Dean because hello, hi, and how you doin’?

I’ll never tell him that, of course. He’d just get a bigger head than he already has and he probably has trouble getting it through small doorways anyway. Plus, I’d have to deal with him smirking even more than he does already.

He is such a pain in the ass. But he’s my pain in the ass. Faith can get her own.

Not that he’s mine or anything. It's just that I saw him first so—

Damn. That doesn’t sound any better.

“You know, we’ll probably be able to kill the wyrm faster if you’re not daydreaming about me.”

He’s smirking again. As Willow would say, that poophead.

“I am not daydreaming about you,” I snap. Thank God I don’t blush easily or I would be so screwed and he’d get some stupid idea that he was psychic. Or something.

“Sure you weren’t, sweetheart.”

I narrow my eyes. Would it kill him to remember to use my name once in awhile? I’m not going to ask him because he’d probably come up with some smart ass response like yes, yes it would kill him.

“You wish, Winchester. I’d sooner daydream about Spike.” Did he just snort at me?

“Spike? As in the vampire you threaten to kill on a daily basis? Right.”

“I can threaten people without following through on it. After all, I threaten to castrate you on a daily basis.” He looks a bit confused at that. It’s a good look on him. I should do this more often.

“No, you don’t.”

I smile sweetly. “Well, not out loud anyway.”

“What?” My, my, my, is that fear I see in his eyes? I think I may have touched a nerve. “You better be joking.”

I wink. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

He looks like he’s about to respond for a minute and then he shuts his mouth. I don’t actually know if that’s because he’s wondering if I’ll follow through or if he just doesn’t know how to respond to that. For once. Ha.

“Buffy,” Oh look at that, he knows my name. Shocking. “You wouldn’t do that. It would deprive women everywhere.”

Is he kidding me? “Are you kidding me? You ignorant jackass. You think that by doing that I’d be depriving women? Please. If anything I’d probably save them from being used and discarded while you move on to the next town.”

“I do not just use and discard women.”

“Oh really? How many have you actually called back?” Got stumped on that one, didn’t you? Ha!

“You know, for your information, I helped out an old girlfriend last year.”

“Okay, helping out with some demon or ghost or whatever, doesn’t count.”

“God, you are such a stubborn bitch.”

“Yeah, well you’re a man whore!” As was evidenced last night when you and Faith practically had sex with your clothes on.

“Jealous, Princess?”

My jaw drops. “What?” And because this is me and this is the Hellmouth and that’s just my luck, that’s when the twittering decides to start up. Twittering. What kind of demon twitters to let you know they’re going to attack? What kind of demon gives warning when they’re going to attack? And twitter just makes me think of twitterpated from Bambi anyway, so why couldn’t it have been a different sound?

Dean and Sam have their guns out and I’ve got the crossbow ready to go. Out of the corner of my eye I can see Spike and Xander moving off to the side, spear clutched in Xander’s hand for him to use whenever he gets the chance.

And holy hell, Giles did not mention this thing was huge. As in dragon huge. Why didn’t they tell me it was a dragon?

Actually, that’s kind of cool. I’ve never gone after a dragon before. Sam starts firing and once he’s out of bullets, Dean is already moving over to start firing off his own shots. Maybe it’s an older sibling thing, the way it’s so automatic to move in front of the younger one.

“Willow! That spell would be nice!”

As she pulls out the herbs or weeds or whatever it is she needs, Willow nods. “Just need these to chant.”

“Chant fast!”

Dean’s about to run out of bullets and it’s a good thing that this chant isn’t long because if so, we just might be in trouble. But Willow’s almost done, thankfully. I raise the crossbow, shifting to get into a better position to take my shot.

And hey, why hasn’t Xander thrown that spear yet? “Xander!”

He’s quiet for a moment and I don’t have to look to know that he’s looking at me like I’m crazy. “You said it was a worm! I’m not poking it, it’s huge!”

I hear Spike make some noise that means he’s disgusted with Xander and then the spear is flying straight for the wormy dragon’s chest. Well, that pissed it off and now it’s continuing to stalk towards Dean as he tries to reload without becoming dragon food.

Ooh, more shooting. Looks like Dean did manage to reload. Probably while the dragon was having a hissy fit over Spike stabbing it with Xander’s spear. (Which, ew, that sounds gross.) I should probably be more focused on the fight but all my attention is split between making sure the dragon doesn’t suddenly lunge at somebody and listening to Willow’s chanting.

Although, I got to admit, Dean has good aim with that gun. It’s amazing that the head hasn’t flown off with that many bullets in its head and neck but according to Giles, the easiest way to kill it was with this spell and getting it through the heart.

All I know is that all my focus is on the dragon, I’ve got adrenaline pumping and this is the calmest I’ve been all night. Because I know this thing is dead and we’re going to win.

Willow finishes the chant and that’s my cue. I send the bolt flying, watching with satisfaction as it goes straight to the heart and Dean fires a few more shots to the head while Sam reloads.

The roar that this dragon thingy lets loose rings in my ears as I watch the left wing snap open and smash down on the roof of the mausoleum. I can see Sam ducking out of the way of the marble as it falls and Dean jumps out of range. A few pieces come flying in our direction and I grab Xander by the collar, yanking him backwards so that we can avoid getting a chunk of marble to the face. It falls and I can’t keep the grin off my face as I watch it happen.

God, I love a good fight.

I can see Dean looking over at us, a matching grin on his face and I guess that’s unusual for him. Normally, he’s all about getting the job done before having fun but I think the fact that we just took out a dragon is making him as giddy as a kid on Christmas.

Plus, I think he’s just a bit of a pyro. It’s all right there in the glee on his face when he and Sam torch the sucker.

It’s a good thing the cops turn a blind eye to anything that happens in the cemeteries around here or we’d have to explain how we managed to get such a huge bonfire going.

The smell of burning flesh is gross but it doesn’t change the fact that I’m hungry. Like that’s anything new. As the fire dies down and then fades away I look up.

“So who feels like getting pizza?”
Feeling: cheerfulcheerful
avamclean: Big Gunsavamclean on May 31st, 2007 03:52 pm (UTC)
"He is such a pain in the ass. But he’s my pain in the ass. Faith can get her own."

*gigglesnort* Perfect and so wondefully Buffy. *hands Nicole a shiny gold star* Wonderful and as always sweetie,thank you for sharing!
Nebula: xander hee heeauthoressnebula on May 31st, 2007 09:35 pm (UTC)
HA! Go Buffy! And yes, Dean is SUCH the little pyro, isn't he? *grins wickedly* I mean, how many times has he loved burning things?

And Buffy is so jealous; I love her internal monologue and Dean's fear that she WILL castrate him. HEE!