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19 March 2007 @ 03:10 am
Fic: The Effects of Alcohol (Dean, Sam, Buffy, Xander) PG  


Title: The Effects of Alcohol
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1,230
Characters: Dean, Sam, Buffy, Xander
Timeline: Pre-series for Supernatural, "Beer Bad" for Buffy.
Summary: Dean only left Sam alone for a little while but it was long enough for Sam to get drunk.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Supernatural. They belong to Joss Whedon and Eric Kripke. A couple lines of dialogue are from the episode "Beer Bad". The banner was made for me by dhfreak.
Notes: Again, written for the second weekly challenge at spn_btvs. I used the prompts of St. Patrick's Day and beer. And for this story, I changed the timeline a bit so that the events of "Beer Bad" happened in March instead of whenever they did on the show. Enjoy and feedback's always welcome!


Sam was drunk. Dean shook his head as he watched his little brother. Not just drunk, no, Sam was fall down; smack you on the ass drunk. That’s what he got for letting that pretty brunette distract him.

So much for celebrating his first St. Patrick’s Day as a twenty-one year old. He snorted as he made his way towards the table Sam was sitting at, laughing and talking with a few guys and one girl. He raised an eyebrow when he saw her lean towards him so that their faces were only inches apart.

“Well, hell, Sammy. Way to go,” he muttered. He stepped up to the table in time to hear her say,

“Boy smell good.”

Dean rolled his eyes. Leave it to his brother to find a girl who apparently couldn’t handle her alcohol any better than he could.

“Come on, Sam, let’s get you back to the motel.” And be grateful that Dad had told them to stay put while he went up north for a couple days.

His thoughts were interrupted when the girl moved away from Sam and stood, pushing him against the wall and pressing up against him. Any other time and Dean would have been enjoying this but the girl was wasted and probably had no idea what she was doing.

She leaned in close, inhaling his scent. “Boy smell very good,” she announced, her hand sliding up his arm and down his side.

“Okay, whoa, sweetheart. Much fun as this would normally be, I like it better when the girl isn’t wasted enough to pass out at any moment. And I really like it better when my brother isn’t in the room.” He paused and glanced at the table. “Or a bunch of guys I’ve never met.”

She frowned. “Buffy like boy.”

Dean moved her away from him. “Then Buffy should find boy when she’s sober.”

The girl, Buffy, continued to frown at him as she stepped back another step. “Boy don’t like Buffy?”

Before he could answer, Sam reached out and ran a hand down her hair. “Girl pretty.” He nodded when she turned and smiled brightly.

“Other boy like Buffy.”

“Girl.” It was all that Sam said and as he listened to the way they were both talking, Dean felt a sense of dread creep over him. Something told him that Sam hadn’t had that much to drink.

“Sam. Sammy, look at me.” He reached out and took hold of Sam’s arm, using his grip to turn Sam towards him. “How much did you have to drink?”

“Drink?” Sam tilted his head as if not quite understanding the question and Dean silently vowed to hide his fake I.D. for awhile.

“Beer, Sam. How much beer did you have?” he asked, making sure to keep his voice from getting impatient.

Sam and Buffy both brightened at the question and the group of guys at the table went just a bit more nuts.

“Beer?” Sam said.

“Buffy like beer,” Buffy added helpfully. She looked at Dean hopefully and he turned towards Sam only to find his brother looking at him in the exact same way.

“Damn.”

“What the hell is going on here?”

Dean turned to find the bartender from earlier coming out of the back and staring at them all. “Oh, finally. Someone sober.” He motioned to the rest of them. “They’ve had way too much beer and this chick seems to have attached herself to my brother.”

The young man glanced at the girl and closed his eyes, letting out a breath. “Buffy.”

“She a regular or something?” Dean asked, raising an eyebrow.

“No.” The guy shook his head. “She’s my best friend and she pretty much never drinks.”

Dean nodded. Normally he’d make some smart ass remark about her getting a better tolerance but Sam wasn’t exactly a lightweight and he was acting as bad as she was.

Which meant something about this was off.

“Xander. Boy,” Buffy said, interrupting his thoughts.

“That’s right, Buffy. I’m Xander and I’m a boy.”

Dean snorted and Xander shot him a look as he turned to the others. “Okay, guys, I think it’s safe to say you’ve had enough. Time to go home.”

“Beer,” one of them said. It didn’t take long for the others to pick up the chant. Dean watched this for a moment, amusement on his face even as he turned back towards Sam. He felt a flash of panic when he found the spot behind him empty until he looked further back into the room. He let out a breath as he watched Sam and Buffy study the jukebox.

“Music. Play,” Sam grunted, slapping the side. Behind him, Dean heard gasps and Xander saying something about fire before the door opened. A few moments later, Xander came up next to him.

“So, that’s your brother.”

“Yeah. Sam’s my brother.” He glanced over. “I’m Dean.” It was only fair to give up his name since he already knew Xander and Buffy’s.

“Normally, I’d probably have to say something about how he looks too young but considering I lied about my age to get the job, I don’t think that’d be too fair.” He sighed. “I think the safest bet is to get them home.”

Another slapping sound interrupted them and they turned to find Buffy on top of the jukebox, glaring down at it. “Sing,” she ordered. Xander sighed.

“Oh boy.” He moved forward and wrapped an arm around Buffy’s waist, pulling her down. “Come on, Buffy. I’m cutting you off.”

Buffy gave him a confused look. “Did it hurt?”

Dean laughed as he gripped Sam by the arm and pulled him up. “Come on, Sam. Let’s go.” Sam frowned at him.

“Girl,” he said, motioning towards where Buffy was frowning at Xander. “Stay with girl.” He scowled when Buffy sniffed at Xander and then turned back to Dean. “Stay,” he repeated.

“You can see the girl later. We’ve got to go for now.”

“No.”

Dean clenched his jaw. He could hear Xander having a similar argument with Buffy on the other side of the room.

“Yes.” He tightened his grip on Sam’s arm when Sam tried to move away. “Come on, Sam, if you come with me, you can have beer.”

Sam’s eyes lit up. “Beer?”

“Yeah. Beer.” Dean nodded and grinned when he heard Xander promising the same thing to Buffy. Looked like these two had the same wants when they were like this. “And then after beer, you can see the girl, okay?”

Sam nodded. “Beer. Girl.”

“At least you got your priorities,” he muttered as he walked Sam out of the bar, nodding goodbye to Xander, who waved in response. “Let’s get you to the car, Sammy. And no puking or I swear, your ass is walking home.” And Dean would drive next to him to be sure he didn’t get attacked but he’d be damned if any puke got on the Impala.

And once they got back to the motel, maybe Dean would be able to figure out what the hell had happened to Sam and how he could fix it.

Sam stumbled and grunted again; saying something about beer again and Dean rolled his eyes.

Of course, first they had to make it to the car without Sam falling on his face. Dean sighed.

This was going to be a long night.
 
 
Feeling: tiredtired
 
 
 
Sharvie_sharvie_ on March 19th, 2007 01:10 pm (UTC)
Nice. I could so see that happening too. I wonder what Dean would do if he found cave!Sam ripping apart his car? *lol*
Nicole: Metallicar!blue_icy_rose on March 21st, 2007 06:21 am (UTC)
Hoo boy, that would not be pretty. *g* Sam would never hear the end of it. It could be post-Stanford and Dean would bring it up in arguments. LOL. Thanks for reading!
Lani: I'm insufferableebonypsyche on March 19th, 2007 02:26 pm (UTC)
How late is it to grab the Joss, Kripke, Jensen,Jared, Nick, Sarah, Cameras, A set, lights, mics, props, a camea crew, sound crew, light techs and popcorn, and make this scene happen for all to see? *pouts*

*brightens* we can give them beer if they do it.
Nicole: Sexy Charisma!blue_icy_rose on March 21st, 2007 06:25 am (UTC)
LOL! How funny would that be?

Hey, they might do it for beer. You never know. ^_^ Thanks, hon!
avamclean: Noxavamclean on March 19th, 2007 10:44 pm (UTC)
Can I vote that we see more of this 'verse? Cause I kinda want to see Sammy wait for Dean to be distracted and then go off in search of Buffy.

This was too cute for words and such a wonderful twist on the 'Bad Beer' epi! *applauds* Well done sweets!
Nicole: Amused Jensenblue_icy_rose on March 21st, 2007 06:27 am (UTC)
Cause I kinda want to see Sammy wait for Dean to be distracted and then go off in search of Buffy.

Oh man, I hadn't even thought of that! Hee!

Who knows? Maybe I can do something more with this 'verse, you never know. It's definitely something I'd consider. *g* Thanks, Ava!
Robingodking7slj on March 21st, 2007 12:53 am (UTC)
I just wanted to let you know I added you as a friend. I might have already told you but I wasn't sure.
Nicole: Buffy and Faith dancingblue_icy_rose on March 21st, 2007 06:28 am (UTC)
Gah! Yeah, you told me, sorry. I've been a bit behind in replying to comments and everything. Maybe now I'll catch up. *g*

Also? Hi! *waves* Yay, new friend!
Demona: Jared White Hatazraelz_angel on March 21st, 2007 02:34 am (UTC)
Nice job adding Dean and Sam into Beer Bad. Poor Sammy, he's in a hell of a lot of teasing once he sobers up!
Nicole: Gleeful!Sam - how could you resist?blue_icy_rose on March 21st, 2007 06:29 am (UTC)
Can't you just picture Dean randomly grunting "Beer. Girl." for the next couple weeks after this or something, just to annoy Sam? ^_^ Poor guy, Dean will never let him hear the end of it! Thanks for reading!
Spectacularly Adequate Empressempressvesica on March 21st, 2007 08:40 pm (UTC)
oh dear...And here I thought any of the Scoobies were lucky to make it out of "Beer Bad" alive. This? This is a whole new kettle of fish. Very nice! :D
Nicole: *sporfle* Badass indeed.blue_icy_rose on March 24th, 2007 07:55 pm (UTC)
Oh yeah. I mean, can you imagine the damage that could have (and was) done as a result of this? Throw in the Winchesters and it all just changes. LOL. Thank you!
Virtual Insomniavirtualinsomnia on March 22nd, 2007 03:56 pm (UTC)
Got here through a random Google search for something utterly unrelated, lol. But anyway... this was hilarious! I loved it! Definitely going in my memories... :-)
Nicole: Buffy and Faith dancingblue_icy_rose on March 24th, 2007 07:56 pm (UTC)
Your memories? Wow! *looks around to see if anyone's looking and does a little happy dance* LOL. I'm so glad you liked it and thank you!
(Anonymous) on March 22nd, 2007 04:01 pm (UTC)
That's hilarious!! You write very well! :) And you captured both Dean and Xander accurately.
Nicole: Nummy treat Xander.blue_icy_rose on March 24th, 2007 07:57 pm (UTC)
Thank you very much! I'm glad you liked it. ^_^
Larilyn: Crossover1larilyn on March 24th, 2007 04:25 pm (UTC)
I was laughing out loud as I read this. So funny. Poor Dean & Xander. You should continue this one.
Nicole: Crossover OTPblue_icy_rose on March 24th, 2007 07:59 pm (UTC)
Actually, I do have an idea on how I could continue this and it's all thanks to Ava. *g* Now, it's just a matter of getting it written. And hee, Dean and Xander really do have their hands full, don't they? Poor guys!

Thanks for reading!
(Deleted comment)
Kristie: spn--sam lolfangirl1981 on April 9th, 2007 09:47 pm (UTC)
Awesome!
Aimée: Buffy - Foamy.spnaimee on August 26th, 2007 11:29 pm (UTC)
Ahahahahahahahahaha!!! Drunken Sam is always fun.

Well, unless he decides to ambush Dean with horrible requests right before passing out.

But he didn't this time, and he'll be made fun of forever for this.

And I love that this icon is completely perfect for this fic, lol. Yay! *scurries off to read more fic*