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01 April 2006 @ 11:53 pm
Logan/Veronica + Spander = Fic for irmak!  
Title: Checking Out
Rating: PG-13 for innuendo
Word Count: 1,652
Character/Pairing: Logan/Veronica, Spike/Xander
Spoilers/Warnings: None for either show. Takes place in an AU season 6 (I know! I can't stay away from it!) and when Logan and Veronica are older. As in 21 at the least.
Summary: Spike thinks Logan is checking Xander out and decides that it's the perfect time to tell Logan to get his own boyfriend.
Disclaimer: Unfortunately, none of them belong to me. The Veronica Mars characters belong to Rob Thomas and the Buffy the Vampire Slayer characters belong to Joss Whedon.
Author's Note: I'm cutting it so close right now. As a matter of fact, by the time I finish typing this little note, it'll probably be midnight. But anyway, this was written for irmak for pal_athon, who mentioned that jealousy would be fun to see and also thought that Logan, Xander, and Spike would be love. (And since she also mentioned slash in a funny way would be okay, I couldn't resist.) Hope it makes you laugh at least a little, hon! Enjoy!

Also posted at neptunechaos.

Sunnydale, California. It wasn’t a place that Logan would normally spend time in but Veronica was working on a case. A series of murders that had started back home and, it seemed, had ended up here. She’d been determined to catch the guy, had been only one step behind him throughout the entire search until now. In a town where unusual death seemed to be as natural as the color of the sky, he was hard to find.

So here he was, waiting for her at some place called the Bronze. Veronica had said she’d be there around 8:00 but he’d gotten there a bit early to grab a table. Of course, now it was a little after 8:00 and he couldn’t help but be worried. There was something that bothered him about this town. Logan sighed and took a drink of his beer as he turned his eyes towards the doors to see if she’d arrived yet.


Spike narrowed his eyes and growled lightly, his hand automatically curling around Xander’s arm possessively.

“Okay, what are you growling at?” Xander asked. “There’s not a demon, is there? And if there is, does it want to eat me? Because I’ve really had enough of that for one day.”

“He’s staring at you,” Spike said. Xander frowned and glanced behind him, following Spike’s gaze. He rolled his eyes.

“That guy? Spike, he’s looking at the door.” Xander turned back around. “He’s probably waiting on someone.”

“Or he could be waiting for me to leave so he can come and make a move on you.”

Xander shook his head. “Oh come on, Spike. He’s not even my type.”

Spike snorted. “What? Good looking isn’t your type? What are you with me for then?” he demanded. Xander raised an eyebrow.

“You think he’s good looking?”

Spike’s jaw dropped briefly before he snapped it shut. “That’s not the bloody point and you’re dodging the question.”

“What was the question?”

Groaning, Spike fought the temptation to roll his eyes. “Xander…”

“I know. But what I don’t know is why you’d even have to ask why I’m with you.” Xander looked at Spike, searching to see if he could find the answer.

“Well if I knew, I wouldn’t have to ask, now would I?” Spike muttered. Xander rolled his eyes.

“And here I thought it was obvious. I’m with you because I love you, you bleached moron.”

Spike raised an eyebrow. “Moron? Is that any way to tell a person you love them?”

“Spike,” Xander groaned. Spike grinned.

“There a problem?” he asked. Xander just stared at him and Spike smirked. “Yeah. Love you too, you git.”

Xander smiled. “Does that mean you’re going to drop it?” he asked, a bit of hope in his voice.

Spike snorted and shook his head. “No. Means I’m going over there and telling him that you’re mine and if he wants a boyfriend, he can get one of his own.”

Xander’s jaw dropped as Spike turned and walked away. It took a minute for him to fully process what Spike had said and then he was going after Spike, hoping to stop any disasters from happening. “I’m chaining him to the bed and never letting him leave the apartment from now on,” Xander muttered under his breath. He paused. “But he’d probably enjoy that.” Shaking his head, he sped up, only to find that Spike was already at the guy’s table. “Shit.”


Logan raised an eyebrow at the man standing next to his table. “Something I can help you with?” he asked.

“Don’t need any help from you, mate. But you can do something for me. You can quit staring at Xander.”

British. Well, that wasn’t something he was used to hearing. He thought over what had just been said and smirked when he noticed the brunet, who he assumed was Xander, walking up behind the blond and rolling his eyes. He nodded in his direction. “Is that Xander?”

The blond turned and scowled at the fact that he’d been followed before turning to Logan. “Yeah, that’s him. Not that you don’t already bloody well know that since you’ve been staring at him.”

Logan shook his head. Hm, I don’t think I’ve ever been accused of being gay before. This is new. Different. “Yeah, well, you don’t have to worry, Jeeves. He’s not my type.”

“Why not?” he demanded. “You trying to say there’s something wrong with him?”

Behind him, Xander groaned and shook his head. “Spike, for the love of Batman, would you leave the poor guy alone? He wasn’t staring at me and he probably wants to finish his beer in peace.”

Logan glanced between the two. “Spike? You know, if that name is because of certain…attributes, I just don’t want to know.”

Spike frowned down at him while Xander grinned, a bit of laughter escaping him

“I wouldn’t tell you, even if it was,” Xander replied. Logan laughed while Spike looked between the two of them before turning back to Logan.

“I’m not sure I like you,” he said though there was a hint of amusement in his eyes. Logan grinned.

“Blond hair, blue eyes, and going from pissed at you to a little amused. Logan, if this was your way of telling me you’re gay and you’d rather date the male version of me, I’d have preferred being told in private. Just for future reference.”

Logan turned to find Veronica standing to the side, amusement clear on her face and in her voice. He grinned. “Me? Break up with you so I can be with a guy?” Logan shook his head. “Sorry, babe, you’re stuck with me.” He sighed. “I guess I’ve got a bit of masochist in me.”

Veronica snorted. “Jackass.”

“You love it and me.”

“And yet, I still haven’t figured out why.”


Spike smirked. “Now her I like,” he decided. Veronica turned to him and grinned.

“Likewise.” She stuck out her hand. “I’m Veronica.”

He reached out, taking her hand and shaking it briefly. “Friends call me Spike.”

Veronica’s eyebrows shot up. “Somehow I get the feeling that has to be one interesting story.”

Spike smirked. “Let’s just say it involves the railroad.”

Xander snorted. “Don’t get him started with stories about the good old days,” he said, stepping forward. “I’m Xander, by the way, and the reason Spike came over to act like a caveman.”

“I’m not a caveman! Do I look like Peaches?”

Xander shook his head, a smirk on his face. “No, Spike. You’re very different from Angel.”

“Of course I am. I have a personality, don’t I?”

“And quite a personality it is,” Veronica said as she watched the two.

“You should hear him when he growls,” Xander said, grinning when Spike turned to look at him. “Big wow factor there.”

“Growling is fun,” Veronica agreed causing Logan to swallow too fast. He coughed and shook his head.

“What? Who have you been with that growls?” he demanded. He thought of the few guys Veronica had dated before they’d gotten back together.

She laughed. “You.”

Logan stared at her for a moment. “Me?” he repeated.

Veronica exchanged an amused look with Xander as she moved around the table and slid into the other chair. “Pretty sure I said that in English but if need be, I’ll give French a try.”

He snorted and shook his head. “Not necessary, even if I’m surprised you’d talk about sex with me in front of people we just met.” He noticed the smirk Spike got at the word ‘people’ and though he was curious, he ignored it, focusing on Veronica’s smirk instead.

“Funny, I don’t remember bringing up sex.” She brightened. “But if you want me to talk about our sex life, I can. Should I start with that thing you do with your tongue?”

Logan’s eyes widened. “No. Not necessary.”

Xander smirked and glanced at Spike before turning back to Veronica. “He does a thing with his tongue too, huh? Does he curl it?”

Spike smirked. “If we’re going to talk about what to do with a tongue, Xander does this thing where he wraps it around my-“

“Nothing! I wrap my tongue around nothing,” Xander interrupted, slapping a hand over Spike’s mouth as Logan and Veronica laughed. Spike raised an eyebrow and then the smirk showed clearly in his eyes. Xander suddenly pulled his hand away. “Gah! What is with the licking all of a sudden?”

“Felt like tasting you.”

“In public. Licking and tasting is not for the public. It’s a private type thing. Where there are no people except us.”

Logan glanced at the two of them before turning towards Veronica. “Licking is a past time that I fully support.”

Veronica snorted. “Somehow that doesn’t surprise me.”

“And on that note, I think it’s time for us to go. We’re supposed to go find some friends of ours. Try to convince them they need more sun, that kind of thing,” Xander said. A look of understanding crossed Spike’s face and he nodded.

“Yeah. Pale friends. Really need to get out more,” he agreed, despite the fact that he was pale himself. He turned towards Logan and Veronica. “Nice meeting you and all that crap.”

Xander rolled his eyes. “Forgive Spike. He lost his manners years ago. But it was nice meeting you. Maybe we’ll see you next time we’re here.”

“And hey! Maybe next time, Logan can really check out Xander.” Veronica laughed at the look Logan shot her.

“How about we not?” he replied. He glanced at Xander. “No offense.”

“None taken.” Waving, Xander grabbed hold of Spike’s arm and headed towards the door. As she watched them go, Veronica turned towards Logan.

“Licking, huh?”

Logan nodded. “Yeah.” He leaned forward. “And since you were late, I think that tonight you should lick me this time around.”

She let out a small laugh and nodded. “Done.”
Irmak: jake squee!irmak on April 2nd, 2006 11:28 am (UTC)

HEEEE! Oh, God! I looove you! This is... awesome! Yaaaay! Hey, back off, people! This fic is mine and mine only! Well, you know, yours too, of course. :)

*babbles with excitement*

How awesome is Spike being all protective over Xander? You know, I kinda rule for adding 'jealousy' to my list. And Logan is damn good looking! Non-sex talks killed me. The licking! Heeee. But we all know that no matter how much Logan loves Veronica, there's always a possibility for him to fall for the "male version" of her. You know, if they weren't both monogamous and all.

Hon, this is PERFECT! Love you!
Nicole: Giddy!Spike!blue_icy_rose on April 2nd, 2006 12:20 pm (UTC)
Yay! *dances* I'm so glad you liked it. This would be the reason I haven't even replied to your email yet. LOL. So you can totoally blame this. *nods*

And yes! As soon as I saw your list I loved it! Then I looked at my friend and pointed and went "Look! It's the best list ever! Totally read my mind!" ^_^ Ah, to be licked by Spike...

.....*blinks* What? Right! Sorry, drifted off there. ~_^

Oh yeah. Logan would totally fall for the male version of Veronica. Gah! Now I have images for what that threesome would look like! *sigh* Well damn. Now I may have to write it. But first, there's a possible part two since I'm curious about the serial killer and then there's a possible different fic that would fit the funny slash request. All I need to know is how do you feel about Spike, Xander, and one of them being turned into a puppy? *has too many fic bunnies running around in her head* I can't help it!

Anyway, that was the longest way ever to say I'm glad you loved it! LOL. *g*
Irmak: brian wink wink nudge nudgeirmak on April 2nd, 2006 12:44 pm (UTC)
Heee. Don't worry, you send my e-mail anytime you want to.

Hmmmm... To be licked by Spike... Sounds so damn good.

DUDE! Spike/Xander/Logan threesome! Guh! No. Stop. Can't. Handle. The. Hotness! :)

Puppies! Heee! OK, you should totally turn Spike into puppy and Xander will try to break the spell but by the way the puppy should definitely vamp out or something. Or maybe it can lick some other puppy and Xander will be all, "Hey! You little bastard. You just can't help for 5 minutes, can you?" Heee. I'm totally loving this!
Nicole: They so want each other!blue_icy_rose on April 2nd, 2006 01:05 pm (UTC)

And GAH! Now you've given me another plot bunny! Because see I was thinking of a what if Xander got turned into a puppy before they'd gotten together and Spike finds the puppy and while he's taking care of it, he's getting more worried about Xander and wondering where he could be and the whole time puppy!Xander is in shock that Spike actually likes him.

But see, now I have an image of vamp!puppy!Spike and Spike and Xander already being a couple and Xander wondering why the hell Spike seems to have a fascination with licking him.

Okay, so now I'm seriously considering writing both of these. LOL. Darn you and your funny and good ideas! ~_^
Irmak: kb omg!irmak on April 2nd, 2006 01:25 pm (UTC)
Damn, girl! Now I can totally see Xander yelling "help" while all Spike hears is "barf". And of course he'll refuse to take care of the puppy at first, but then he'll relent. Oh! Listen to this: when Spike objects, Xander decides to go to Buffy's. But when he's outside, he'll be terrified of all those big people -like a puppy would be- and we'll hear him trying to talk himself into this, like, "Come on, Xander. Be a man," and stuff. Then in the next scene we'll find him on Spike's doorstep again. And when Spike starts bitching he'll be all, "Oh, snap out of it!" But of course, all Spike hears will be this cutie little barf and he'll totally take him in. Heeeeeee. Oh, and, of course this is your fic. You can do whatever you want. ;)

But seriously, vamp!puppy!Spike would be funny. Heee. We can hear him saying to himself how he'll go bite a puppy or something and then suddenly Xander shows up with a plate of milk, and Spike will be all, "MILK!!!" and drink like there's no tomorrow.

Okay, I'm stopping right now because I'm way too interfering. :)

And got your mail! You're AWESOME! Thank you for the support, hon.