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17 January 2008 @ 12:42 am
Fic: The Diary (R) 1/?  
Title: The Diary
Rating: R
Pairings: Sam/Buffy
Spoilers: Buffy: All seasons. SPN: Through season 3.
Warnings: Language, sexual situations in later chapters.
Summary: All Dawn was doing was looking for a pair of shoes. Instead, she found one of Buffy's diaries, getting caught up in the story of how Buffy had met Sam and Dean Winchester.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Supernatural. They belong to Joss Whedon and Eric Kripke.
Notes: My first Sam/Buffy, so be gentle on me, folks! Hope you enjoy and feedback's always welcome.

First posted at The Road to Destiny


Dawn sighed as she dug around under her sister’s bed. For someone who claimed they were organized, there was a whole lot of crap shoved under there. She shook her head as much as she could, reaching out and pulling a shoebox towards her.

“What is this?” she muttered, sliding back so she could sit up straight. Her search for her shoes forgotten, she opened the box and paused, frowning at the contents. She glanced back towards the door to be sure no one, especially her sister, was coming and pulled out the pictures first.

Buffy was still in her teens, probably around sixteen or seventeen, and she was standing with a couple of guys. One looked older and the other looked like he was maybe the same age or younger. She turned it over, frowning when she realized there was nothing to explain who the guys might be. She flipped through the rest of the pictures and found much of the same thing. At the bottom of the pile was a folded piece of paper. She opened it and smiled at the crayon drawing with the words “Happy Birthday Buffy.” The drawing was of two stick figures playing on a swing set. There were other pictures as well, some crayon drawings, some sketches and some taken with a camera.

Setting the pictures back in the box, she took out the book, shoving aside the flash of guilt as she opened it and stared at the first page.

A diary. It was some sort of diary that Buffy kept, one that she’d managed to hide from Dawn this whole time. And Dawn should know since she’d spent over a solid year, keeping track of her sister’s diary just because she could. She flipped through the pages, noting that the dates were recent. She paused as one page caught her attention.

The summer I was ten was the first time I met the Winchester brothers. Dean was twelve and Sam was eight and neither had many friends. It’s no secret that kids can be complete asses and the kids back then were no exception. I’ve tried to remember how many times Dean would show up to pick up Sam from school, only to find Sam fighting back tears. Sometimes he did it, sometimes he didn’t.

I could never understand how you could make fun of someone because their mom had died when they were a baby. I still can’t. Remembering makes me want to go back and beat the crap out of those little jerks.

Maybe I would, if it didn’t mean I was going to beat up fifth graders.

I was one of the few who was actually nice to Sam. Ironic, I know, since I was worse than Cordelia once I hit high school. But before, things were different.

Part of me thinks that Celia still had something to do with it. She was always nice to everyone, always the one who felt bad for the kid getting picked on. Maybe it was just me, doing what I thought she would do. Either way, I was nice to Sam Winchester and because of it, I was one of the only kids that his brother was nice to.

I lost count of how many broken noses and black eyes that Dean gave out those couple months that they lived in Los Angeles. But whenever a guy picked on Sam, it was guaranteed that he’d show up within the next few days with bruises. The girls, well, Dean couldn’t do anything about that because he said he didn’t hit girls. So I did.

I’d already gotten in trouble for kicking a boy that had made Dawn cry (and I made sure that kick counted, damn it). I hated the look on Sam’s face when some girl would make a point of asking where his mom was. There was one, Sissy (and what the hell kind of name is that?) had it out for Sam. I still think it was because she had a crush on Dean but he mostly only paid attention to Sam. I know there were a few times she tried to get to me after she noticed us talking.

Whatever. I just remember the way she laughed when she finally managed to get to Sam. I couldn’t help it. I punched her.

I think Mom was a little proud actually. I never really got punished for it, not once I told her why I’d done it.

I never saw their dad. Dean would show up to pick up Sam and once Sam told Dean I was his friend, Dean made it a point to wait at the school until Mom and Dawn picked me up before walking Sam home.

The couple months they were there, I can safely say were ones where I felt like I had actual friends. They moved after Halloween.

Sam wasn’t too happy when he heard they were moving. He told me at recess that his dad had told them they were leaving after school. I wasn’t happy either. I made Sam swear up and down that he’d keep in touch, making sure to give him our phone number and our address. He sent me a drawing for my birthday that year.

Once they were gone, I was the outcast at school. I’d stuck up for those Winchester boys and so something must be wrong with me.

I changed after that. I didn’t want to be the one left out or made fun of anymore. I know some people would say that’s just weak or stupid but I hated school that year. So I changed. One summer was enough for everyone to forget and suddenly, I was sitting at the popular table.

I never told anyone that I still talked to Sam. He used to charge the long distance calls to their hotel or buy a calling card. I have a feeling that was Dean’s doing. Sometimes I talked to Dean but it was mostly Sam and mostly it was letters and pictures.

They—

Damn. Sounds like we have a crisis. Better put this away for now.


Dawn frowned at the end of the entry. Sam and Dean Winchester. She couldn’t believe Buffy had managed to keep two brothers a secret for all these years.

“I wonder if she still talks to them,” she muttered. Obviously, Buffy had seen them sometime after Mom had moved them to Sunnydale but she had no idea when. She glanced at the door.

There was no harm in reading more and trying to find out. And she’d find out more about this friendship while she did it.

“Dawn!”

She glanced up, half-expecting to see Buffy in the doorway before realizing the shout had come from downstairs. “What?” she called.

“Are you ready? We’re going to be late.”

“I’ll be right down!” Quickly, she shut the diary and put it back in the box before shoving the box back under the bed. Forget the shoes, she’d wear a different pair for the night.

And she knew she’d be back to read more of the diary, first chance she got.

She really wanted to know what had happened to the Winchesters.
 
 
Feeling: productiveproductive
 
 
 
Maximum Security Birdhouse: Glowingcrazedcrusader on January 18th, 2008 04:39 am (UTC)
Awh, this is so sweet, and I can so see poor Sam getting picked on that way. My aunt died when I was 8 and, as it was a suicide and my neighborhood was very religious, I got a lot of kids making a point of telling me that she was going to Hell for it. Kids can be vicious little monsters, can't they? Thankfully, like Sam, I had an older brother who was willing to stand up for me, even if it was a "Nobody picks on my little sister but me" thing.

I can totally see Ickle!Buffy being the one to do the standing-up-for, too. She did want to be a superhero, after all.

I really hope you're going to do more with this story, it's lovely so far.
Nicole: Buffy/Dean - Fightersblue_icy_rose on January 21st, 2008 12:43 am (UTC)
Kids can be vicious little monsters, can't they?

They certainly can be. Thank goodness for older brothers, huh?

And yes! I just kept remembering Buffy wanting to be Power Girl and well, how could she not defend Sam?

More of this will be coming soon, definitely. ^_^ Thanks for the feedback!